If I were supreme overlord of the Earth...

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If I were supreme overlord of the Earth...

Postby Spoon » Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:58 pm

...I would force NASA to abandon all projects and construct a giant rocket launcher in my backyard. But instead of launching rockets, it would launch whales. Then I would have all the illegal whalers round up all the whales they can, bring them over to my place, and drink beer all day with me as I launch every last whale on Earth into the sun.

Beer & launching whales into the sun = national holiday. Everybody would be forced to not work. Including people that work in hospitals and Blockbuster Videos.

So what would you guys do?
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Postby Adict4DeadMilk » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:20 pm

I would take all the oil and start the worlds largest gasoline fight.
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Postby Creepy_Old_Goat » Tue Jul 18, 2006 2:19 pm

I'd order the destruction of every Wal-Mart but one. And that last one would have to change its name to Willy-Wee's Mart. It would become a national tourist hot spot!
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Postby The Lamp Incident » Tue Jul 18, 2006 6:03 pm

I'd just kill everybody. Plain and simple.
eh
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Postby Spoon » Tue Jul 18, 2006 7:44 pm

I was thinking there might be a chunk of people I wouldn't mind exterminating to get out of my hair. Like those telemarketers that don't even ask if you want to buy a magazine subscription, but just ask where they should send it to. Then I got to thinking that there's some entertainment factor to be had. So instead of killing them, I would hire homeless alcoholics to rape them while professional accordian players played some spicy, spicy music. And probably get some bears that ride those little tricycles, too. I love those guys!

EDIT: Actually, I would totally hire this bear as my professional biking bear while homeless alcoholics rape people to spicy accordian music: http://susancyrus.typepad.com/thewayise ... r_bike.JPG

Ha ha ha ha ha! Not only is the bear on a funny bike...but it's also wearing a dress! You silly bear!
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Postby doctor love » Tue Jul 18, 2006 9:04 pm

I would spend the night with a beautiful woman, falling asleep with her while we hold each other and spoon. Wake up in the morning and have sex, then spend the rest of the day in bed, having sex, calling out for pizza, maybe watching a film or two, having more sex, then driving her home late at night. Afterwards, I'd go to a secluded area and blow my mother fucking brains out!
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Postby The Lamp Incident » Tue Jul 18, 2006 9:11 pm

Actually, I change mine now. Doctor's sounds a million times better.
eh
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Postby Adict4DeadMilk » Wed Jul 19, 2006 2:14 am

I might actually get oodles of noodles.
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Postby The Tarantula » Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:04 am

Spoon wrote:I was thinking there might be a chunk of people I wouldn't mind exterminating to get out of my hair. Like those telemarketers that don't even ask if you want to buy a magazine subscription, but just ask where they should send it to. Then I got to thinking that there's some entertainment factor to be had. So instead of killing them, I would hire homeless alcoholics to rape them while professional accordian players played some spicy, spicy music. And probably get some bears that ride those little tricycles, too. I love those guys!

EDIT: Actually, I would totally hire this bear as my professional biking bear while homeless alcoholics rape people to spicy accordian music: http://susancyrus.typepad.com/thewayise ... r_bike.JPG

Ha ha ha ha ha! Not only is the bear on a funny bike...but it's also wearing a dress! You silly bear!


That pretty much rules.
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Postby kksuck2 » Thu Jul 20, 2006 4:50 pm

I'd give free beer to the needy.
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Postby BigTimeOperator » Fri Jul 21, 2006 2:48 pm

First off, as I read spoons original idea, all I could think was this lil jingle from Futurama...

We're whalers on the moon; We carry a harpoon; But there ain't no whales so we tell tall tales; And sing our whaling tune.

Anyways If I was Ultra-Overlord of the Universe here is what I would do.

I would create a Religon that worshipped nothing, but every Sunday they met, were given guns and hunted down Scientologist. My new religon would be a ranking religon in that the more scientologist you kill, the higher you are in the religon. Anyone who kills a celebrity scientologist is automatically deemed a saint.

I would also mark cigarettes down to $1 a pack, and cut off the penis of any man found drinking or buying Zima.
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Postby Spoon » Fri Jul 21, 2006 3:40 pm

Has anybody built a regilion around Xenu yet? That's just a paycheck waiting to happen. You could challenge Scientologists to paintball gun matches and sell it as a PPV hosted by Geraldo Rivera (that way people won't be surprised when the Scientologists don't actually show up).
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Postby kksuck2 » Fri Jul 21, 2006 3:46 pm

Hail Xenu.
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Postby Rory » Sat Jul 22, 2006 11:05 pm

[quote="BigTimeOperator"]I would also mark cigarettes down to $1 a pack[/quote]

If you're Ultra-Overlord of the Universe, why not have every scientist in the world work together to develop a cancer-free cigarette tree?
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Postby BigTimeOperator » Sun Jul 23, 2006 1:15 am

Because the majority of people who smoke are asshole and I want their money.
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