Dead Milkmen Free For All

Spoon · Joined: 11 Jul 2003 Posts: 1503 Location: New Hampshire

...I would force NASA to abandon all projects and construct a giant rocket launcher in my backyard. But instead of launching rockets, it would launch whales. Then I would have all the illegal whalers round up all the whales they can, bring them over to my place, and drink beer all day with me as I launch every last whale on Earth into the sun.

Beer & launching whales into the sun = national holiday. Everybody would be forced to not work. Including people that work in hospitals and Blockbuster Videos.

So what would you guys do?
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"I am an asexual pug " - Lamp

Adict4DeadMilk · Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:20 pm Post subject:

I would take all the oil and start the worlds largest gasoline fight.
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When in doubt fuck it. When not in doubt, get in doubt.

Creepy_Old_Goat · Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 2:19 pm Post subject:

I'd order the destruction of every Wal-Mart but one. And that last one would have to change its name to Willy-Wee's Mart. It would become a national tourist hot spot!
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"Goat milk?" ~Goaty
Member# 15! Very Happy

The Lamp Incident · Joined: 22 Jan 2003 Posts: 5090 Location: PVD, rho die land

I'd just kill everybody. Plain and simple.
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eh

Spoon · Joined: 11 Jul 2003 Posts: 1503 Location: New Hampshire

I was thinking there might be a chunk of people I wouldn't mind exterminating to get out of my hair. Like those telemarketers that don't even ask if you want to buy a magazine subscription, but just ask where they should send it to. Then I got to thinking that there's some entertainment factor to be had. So instead of killing them, I would hire homeless alcoholics to rape them while professional accordian players played some spicy, spicy music. And probably get some bears that ride those little tricycles, too. I love those guys!

EDIT: Actually, I would totally hire this bear as my professional biking bear while homeless alcoholics rape people to spicy accordian music: http://susancyrus.typepad.com/thewayiseeit/images/bear_bike.JPG

Ha ha ha ha ha! Not only is the bear on a funny bike...but it's also wearing a dress! You silly bear!
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"I am an asexual pug " - Lamp

doctor love · Joined: 22 Jan 2003 Posts: 1599 Location: Tacoma, Wa

I would spend the night with a beautiful woman, falling asleep with her while we hold each other and spoon. Wake up in the morning and have sex, then spend the rest of the day in bed, having sex, calling out for pizza, maybe watching a film or two, having more sex, then driving her home late at night. Afterwards, I'd go to a secluded area and blow my mother fucking brains out!
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happy cows give sour milk.

The Lamp Incident · Joined: 22 Jan 2003 Posts: 5090 Location: PVD, rho die land

Actually, I change mine now. Doctor's sounds a million times better.
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eh

Adict4DeadMilk · Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 2:14 am Post subject:

I might actually get oodles of noodles.
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When in doubt fuck it. When not in doubt, get in doubt.

The Tarantula · Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:04 am Post subject:

kksuck2 · Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 4:50 pm Post subject:

I'd give free beer to the needy.

BigTimeOperator · Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 2:48 pm Post subject:

First off, as I read spoons original idea, all I could think was this lil jingle from Futurama...

We're whalers on the moon; We carry a harpoon; But there ain't no whales so we tell tall tales; And sing our whaling tune.

Anyways If I was Ultra-Overlord of the Universe here is what I would do.

I would create a Religon that worshipped nothing, but every Sunday they met, were given guns and hunted down Scientologist. My new religon would be a ranking religon in that the more scientologist you kill, the higher you are in the religon. Anyone who kills a celebrity scientologist is automatically deemed a saint.

I would also mark cigarettes down to $1 a pack, and cut off the penis of any man found drinking or buying Zima.
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Gather round me everybody
Let me tell you who I am...

Spoon · Joined: 11 Jul 2003 Posts: 1503 Location: New Hampshire

Has anybody built a regilion around Xenu yet? That's just a paycheck waiting to happen. You could challenge Scientologists to paintball gun matches and sell it as a PPV hosted by Geraldo Rivera (that way people won't be surprised when the Scientologists don't actually show up).
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"I am an asexual pug " - Lamp

kksuck2 · Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 3:46 pm Post subject:

Hail Xenu.

Rory · Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 1560 Location: Chicago

[quote="BigTimeOperator"]I would also mark cigarettes down to $1 a pack[/quote]

If you're Ultra-Overlord of the Universe, why not have every scientist in the world work together to develop a cancer-free cigarette tree?

BigTimeOperator · Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 1:15 am Post subject:

Because the majority of people who smoke are asshole and I want their money.
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Gather round me everybody
Let me tell you who I am...