Beelzebubba Gets Vinyl Record Store Day Release!


Serving fans aged 3½ to 92!

April 2015 / No. 63

BORN FREE! (as free as the wind blows)


The Dead Milkmen West Coast Tour

Milkmen Tour Dates Update!

The band is getting ready to travel to the West coast of North America for performances in April 2015. Additional shows have been announced for May in Atlanta GA and Birmingham AL. Get your tickets NOW as some shows have already sold out!


4/17 - Fortune Sound Club - Vancouver, BC - SOLD OUT
4/18 - The Crocodile - Seattle, WA - SOLD OUT
4/19 - Wonder Ballroom - Portland, OR - SOLD OUT
Rodney does a DJ Set at The Lovecraft Bar after the Portland show!
4/21 - Harlows - Sacramento, CA - TICKETS
4/22 - Slim's - San Francisco, CA - TICKETS
4/24 - Belly Up - San Diego, CA - TICKETS
4/25 - Troubadour - Los Angeles, CA - SOLD OUT
4/26 - Troubadour - Los Angeles, CA - TICKETS


5/3 - Philadelphia Free Library - Special Acoustic Set at Book Release Party for Andrew Ervin's "Burning Down George Orwell's House" - FREE!
5/8 - Masquerade - Atlanta, GA - TICKETS
5/9 - Saturn - Birmingham, AL - TICKETS

Rodney and the Thrill Kale Kult!

Rodney Tours With the "Thrill Kale Kult" and more!

In addition to the DJ Set in Portland after the Milkmen show mentioned above, Rodney has a few more special appearances coming up.

First up - The Dancing Ferret 20th Anniversary Party at the Trocadero in Philadelpha on 4/15 - where he'll be performing with Ego Likeness plus a bonus "surprise"...

Then after the Milkmen shows in April and early May he'll be traveling with the "Thrill Kale Kult"...with Velvet Acid Christ, Mindless Faith, Ego Likeness, Caustic, and the Gothsicles:
6/12 - Miramar Theater - Milwaukee, WI - DETAILS
6/13 - Skully's Music Diner - Columbus, OH - DETAILS
6/14 - Thunderbird Cafe - Pittsburgh, PA

And, last but not least - he's also acting in this new episode of "Welcome To Anhedonia"!

Joe Jack Talcum Solo Tour!

Joe Jack will tour the midwest in May and shares the bill with Samuel Locke Ward.

5/15 - Oleavers - Omaha, NB
5/16 - Replay Lounge - Lawrence, KS
5/17 - Gas Lamp - Des Moines, IA
5/18 - Octopus - Cedar Falls, IA
5/19 - Eagles Club #34 - Minneapolis, MN
5/20 - Frequency - Madison, WI
5/21 - Livewire - Chicago, IL
5/22 - Firebird - St. Louis, MS
5/23 - Trumpet Blossom Cafe - Iowa City, IA

The Dead Milkmen - Beelzebubba

Beelzebubba Record Store Day Release!

Once again, Asbestos Records will reissue one of our older LPs on vinyl as part of Record Store Day on April 18, 2015. Beelzebubba gets the "new wax" treatment this time with a limited edition pressing of 4000. There will be 3900 on blue vinyl and 100 white randomly mixed into the release. Check your local record shop for details.

Dandrew Has Something To Say

Some times Some things

I had to speak severely to my friend's roommate's cat the other day. Well, he did attack another cat - a kitten, even - so he needed a talking to. This cat maintained eye contact with me really well throughout the entire lecture, but ultimately it was not I that averted the gaze. Needless to say he won't be messing with any of the other cats from now on.

Often I stop what I'm doing and wonder what jungle animals are doing at that very moment. Chances are most of them are either eating, sleeping, trying to find a mate,or swimming or running. But maybe, just maybe, one of them out there is wondering what I am doing at those moments.

I used to go to the movie theatre alone, walk past the ticket-taker carrying my jacket on my arm and holding up an old ticket stub - from a previous paid-for movie viewing - and walk into an auditorium playing a movie that I wouldn't pay to see in a million years. I subjected myself to hours of garbage cinema, shamefully alone, but at no financial cost, in an attempt to satiate my hunger for nonsense.

I'm working on an art installation where you walk down a hallway with floor-to-ceiling speakers that each play different sounds activated by the person walking down the hall. And by working on it I mean that I just had this idea.

Speaking of nonsense & movie theatres, many years ago I worked at one. Sometimes I would walk down the center aisle of a packed auditorium - right in the middle of a particularly heart-wrenching scene - do some light sweeping with the broom & butler, and then suddenly trip and fall loudly, causing quite a raucous. Without fail everyone in the auditorium would turn and laugh at the stupid clown, totally stealing the scene.

Scientists Develop Method of Reproduction Causing Offspring to Inherit All Parents' Memories

My wife recently informed me that I don't exist - but it's okay, she said, because I don't either - which definitely provided some semblance of relief for me. However, there are various credit agencies and some lady named Sallie Mae that tend to disagree with her. They don't have time for this kind of existential speculation.

Does some one want to help me build a calliope?

Apparently this Indian woman is alleging that I was operating drones and using them to spy on her through her windows. Obviously, this is ridiculous. I never even saw that woman in my whole life. I did manage to get some footage of her husband with my watch camera, however.

If I ever own & operate a printing press, everyone is prohibited from printing on paper that is not of a violet hue. Some times it seems like the only papers we notice in a stack are the ones with color.

Will trees one day grow tall enough to exit the Earth's atmosphere?

I hope that I came up with Sailor Twift.

Nothing is impossible that can't be done.

"P.I. Opener" = company that specializes in delivering fresh, hot coffee to private investigators sitting in their cars. Door to door service, you know.

Joe is now the age my Dad was when I started playing with The Low Budgets.

Pretty Music For Pretty People

"Pretty Music For Pretty People"

October 7, 2014 marked the official release of the new Dead Milkmen album "Pretty Music For Pretty People". Reception from the public and press has been great! You can order the album online from our own website shop or from other outlets such as Amazon, or iTunes. Only 1000 of the SPECIAL vinyl version were pressed so if you see one for sale - BUY IT! They are almost sold out.

Rodney Anonymous: Advice Column

Fixing the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame

Hey gherkins, before you read the essay below, I'd like you to give a listen to this mighty fine piece of Rock 'n' Roll off the new iVardensphere album "Fable".

Speaking of Rock 'n' Roll, The Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame is a lot like the weather in that everybody complains about it but nobody does anything about it... until it's too late, and little Billy's lifeless body is splayed out on the pavement; a victim of twin lightning bolts shooting from Gene Simmons' eyes (Damn you, Gene; those lightning bolts were meant to destroy the Phantom of the Park).

While just about everybody agrees that The Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame is broken (ZZ Top are in, but Gary Numan is not) nobody can seem to agree upon how to best address the issue. Look; we're never going to be able to exact justice upon the RaRHoF in the form of replacing James Taylor with Cat Rapes Dog but, through the judicious application of brackets we can bring a certain sense of clarity to some of the more questionable inductees as well as setting a for standard for how the RaRHoF can deal with the numerous talentless hacks they'll be inducting of the next few decades.

[- era] This artist once made great, rebellious music but is currently about as Rock 'n' Roll as Pat Robertson reading aloud from the collected works of Bill Keane:
This is the only bracket that would appear before an artist's name. Id est [60's-era] Bob Dylan or [Late 70's-era] Elvis Costello or [Doolittle-era] Pixies or [Not the second Tin Machine album-era] David Bowie, or [Big Lizard-era] Dead Milkmen and would indicate the period when the artist was at their peak as well as serve as a reminder to the artist that if they did it once, they can do it again. Except you, Dylan.

[DG] Dead Guy/Gal.
This artist, or a member of this band, is dead. This is the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame's version of bringing a casserole to the family of the deceased:
Had not Buddy Holly [DG], Richie Valens [DG] and the Big Bopper [DG] perished in a plane crash, the odds are depressingly high that they'd be taking to the stage, together, tonight to performing a painfully embarrassing version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" [DG] at the Crazy Loops Coaster Theater in Six Flags Over Akron (Where Kiss is currently battling the Phantom of the Park).

The RaRHoF loves Dead Guys/Gals because they're not going to crank out any crappy albums in the future. This is why [Darkness on the Edge of Town-era] Bruce Springsteen should always check his breaks upon leaving the Hall.

[$] Bought their way in:
Money talks and bullshit walks... right through the front door of the RaRHoF. Both Madonna [$] & Michael Jackson [$] [DG] are in the RaRHoF, and while you could make the argument that Michael belongs there for singing with [1960/70's-era] the Jackson 5 and that Madonna should've been inducted for sleeping with the [1990's-era] Indianapolis 500, can you really ever forgive either of them for the lyrics "Sue me; Jew me" and "I'm drinkin' a soy latte/I get a double shoté"?

[Hip] Hipster Vote:
As slow as the RaRHoF has been to pick up on musical trends (see below) – current estimates show that they are expected to learn about both Witch House and Glitch sometime in late 2049 – they have been surprisingly quick to pick up on the Hipster vibe; hence last year's induction of Hall & Oates [Hip]. Just check back in 2033 – the first year that Mumford & Sons [Hip] are eligible for induction – and see if I'm wrong about this.

[WATKLTTD?] What Are The Kids Listening To These Days?
Apart from your Great Aunt, who spent much of the last two decades keeping you copiously supplied with The Fresh Prince & DJ Jazzy Jeff [$] CDs because "that's what all the young people love these days the Rap music!", you'd have to travel to the forests of Borneo to find a group of people as out-of-touch with Popular Culture as the nominating committee of the RaRHoF.

Last year, Green Day [WATKLTTD?] were inducted following what we can picture in our darkest moments as the following conversation:
Jann Wenner: So, what are the kids listening to these days?
David Fricke: Grunge.
Wenner: Didn't we already induct one of those bands? The one with the dead guy?
Fricke: I like pies.
Wenner: Whatever. Just pick one of some Punk-but-not-too-Punk band, like Blink 666, or Weezer Sabbath, or what-have-you, and induct 'em.
Fricke: My farts smell like pies.

Jack Talcum's CORNER


It's spring cleaning time again which means it's time for me, a borderline hoarder, to make some tough decisions. No, it's not time yet for me to toss my complete collection of TV Guides from 1983. Where else am I going to find plot synopses for Webster, Dukes of Hazard, and The Love Boat in a single volume? And I'm still not ready to toss my chronologically organized five-year collection of National Geographic magazines from the seventies. The photographs on those pages are too gorgeous for me to even think of sending off to a dump or incinerator, and I still feel that there is a potential life for me as a collage artist in the distant future. Anyway, it may be against the law for me to throw those things out.

In the progressive city where I reside, you see, we can be fined for tossing recyclables, like magazines, bottles, cans and any clean plastic that has one of those recycle insignias pressed into it. I haven't gotten fined yet, but one of my neighbors has - fifty smackers it cost him for tossing a case of beer cans - and that makes me wonder. Someone has to have the job of looking through our trash in order to know who is violating the recycling rule. It also means that someone from the city might possibly look through my own trash, and probably already has.

There are some things that I would consider tossing except that I don't want anyone to know that I owned them, especially not someone working for the city - the Awesome Abs workout video, for example, which didn't work by the way, or the collection of Bill Cosby sweaters (all of which were gifts, I swear to you). You might be thinking, "But, Mr. Talcum, why don't you simply put your trash out in front of some other person's house on the day you decide to toss those undesired items?" Good idea, except that I am extremely paranoid and, with all the cameras that have been installed around here recently, I'm certain to be seen. There is another ordinance in our city that says residents may place their trash only in front of their own domiciles. To do otherwise is considered "illegal dumping" and that will set you back a hundred bucks. I'm a stickler for rules and I can't stomach fines.

I also refuse to throw away anything that has my name and address on it, which is the reason for my exhaustive but increasingly unmanageable junk mail collection. It has already consumed my entire guest bedroom. (It's a good thing I don't know anyone who'd ever want to spend the night.)

On the other hand, I am amazed at the things other people do toss. The desk lamp that I am using right now as I write this article was something I found is someone's trash, just down the street. True, the switch is broken. But it's broken in the best possible way - in the "on" position! I don't mind pulling the plug to turn it off (which I rarely do as I'm somewhat afraid of the dark - a good fear to have when you consider the precarious piles of newspapers and books stacked up all over the place).

This may sound odd, but some people even throw out bathwater. How do I know this? Because there is a saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater." It's a curious saying. It makes me wonder first of all, why would you throw away the water when you can simply let it drain out of the tub? And second of all, what kind of parent would toss out a baby? Do they leave it in the bath unattended and then forget it's there when it is time to toss the water? (Maybe the drain is broken.) Or do they really - perhaps subconsciously - want to get rid of that baby?

I know my ex-wife, Kit, had no qualms with trashing the embryo that should have been our child. It peeves me to this day. She certainly was no hoarder! Had things worked out differently and we stayed together, perhaps raising a family, I'm sure she would not allow me to have my mustard jar collection, my bags of empty prescription pill bottles, my box of past-year calendars (my 2014 calendars will be good again in 2025!) and certainly not my room of junk mail. So it's probably good that I let her go. Now, what else can I get rid of?

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